December 2009
Focus
… i’ve been high for 3days.
morning till night.
don’t give in to temptation.
honestly I’m still the same person.
but for the past 3days , no sleep.
I’m starting to forget how sober feels like.
I can’t.
I’m pale.
me.
i made a wrong turn yesterday.
but quickly made a uturn.
kinda.
1 cloud of smoke
developed too
… honestly I lost track.
i don’t ever wanna feel like this again.
no regrets.
i really cant stop.
my lip is extremely swollen.
as one.
everyone has a good heart. somewhere inside them. it doesn’t matter if you don’t believe so. ill believe for you.
burnt.
I’ve litterly been high all day.
& now I just got burnt.
lucky blunt not so lucky.
balls.
ive grown some. layin down the line. fuck the bullshit. front & center. deal with it.
love & hate
relationship. its worth the struggle. if your really not tryna let go. follow your heart. but sometimes when we believe in things so deep … we end up with dealing with the unthinkable. times are rough. but i learn to deal. with or without anyone. i have mine. i own mine. mine mine mine. me. time is everything. thats why we take things slow. because theirs no need to rush shit. lets not...
110% is always a given.
people step bk when they get to close to me.things are unexpected.deal with it,own up to it & love/care for it in every little way possible for as long as you can.dont be afraid to experience the new.go with the flow & maybe you’ll just like it more better then you thought.maybe you’ll discover something beyond your imagination.embrace every little bit of it because you dont...
its hard for me.
its hard for me to deal with the fact that i have no pain. no reason to be mad or sad or angry. ive ran out of tears. i only cry for one reason only. there is happiness in my heart. im on. i no stupid , but im speaking the truth. i take drugs to feel sadness , to see if their is any in me.
point
when does anyone see me cry ? when does anyone see me mad ? im never mad. but im always right. thats the the problem. i always win. surprises are a never. my guards always be down. i keep editing. i cant even cry anymore. im tired of being so nice. but i cant help it. im so different from everyone & that’s a good things but i will always feel like know one will totally...
i wear my heart on my sleeve. how do i cover up this face full of emotions . how do i wipe my eyes dry without anyone noticing. how do i look my friends in the eye & tell them im not ok. everythings fine. honestly i was expecting this. i HATE my gut feelings. they hurt me so much. all i can do is smile & look forward. always have , always will. im not mad. trust.
{tats + im in love with my life right now}
foi.ardeur.beaute. <3 faith.passion.beauty. in french. Planning to get this on my right arm , with the heart. love: in hindi I love the style writing. Planning to get that on my left wrist. c’est la vie whatever thats life. in french. Planning to get that on the bottom right of my collar bone. OFF SUBJECT: 2009 2009 has been so good to me , makes me excited for 2010. Bigger & Better...
i win.
i always win. He seriously is something else. I can not express it in any other way. Eye’s say a lot about a person. ” That’s why i always wear my glasses.” i think i forgot to add … ” i think im in like with him because of his baggage. ” not ” i think he has a lot of baggage , im not sure if im ready . “ after today … i hope to figure...
on
headphones on … i ain’t tryna hear the drama no more. what am i getting myself into. really. what am i getting myself into ? its too soon to tell. it really is. so off subject but. out of the group of friends i hang out with im the only Aquarius. i win ;p im really diggin this Scorpio dude , i find him interesting in so many ways. im attracted to them people who got a lot to of...
sweetheart
i don’t know … I’m on cloud 9 again. this is a good feeling. im just not sure how far its going to get. ” play it by ear ” - him . maybe this is just another good company. shit I’m not mad i HELLA like it. hes a Scorpio & I’m an Aquarius. the key to my heart is laughter ? never new i could have so much in common with him. this is totally random....
flattered
he wants to go on a road trip for the weekend … i told him he’s crazy.
ukulele
ive never heard anyone play the ukulele like that before. now … its everyone’s fuckin hobby. but its so fucking sexy. if i said that in public , people’s first thought would be ” Joe. “ ugh fuck you guys.
to be continued.
my vision was blurry , close to making a uturn. my heart was racing … ” no , i cant. please i dont want to go bk ” . all of a sudden i woke up & sunshine peeked through my window. I got up & looked at myself in the mirror. I was glowing. i was once a youngin , doin that youngin shit. not givin a fuck about nothin. all i cared about was the high that ecstasy gave me. mmm...
ladys
get a hold of yourself .
I’m disapointed in you.
the both of you.
conservative , that’s me.
get on it. or stay at your level.
ingredients
urbanany. piercings. tattoos. artistic. musical. understanding. thoughtful. open minded. free spirited. peace.love&bitches.
lead singer of a band.[extra brownie points]
ketchup.
he had me at hello , i swear on that. i know i had him in some kind of way.
but then pressure hit. drama.talk.friends. he sat back down & fronted. as if he were never the one , who spilt the ketchup.
over filled with anger
I’m so mad I just deleted whatever I wrote. I’m so sad & angry I don’t know whatever.
bitch please.
seriously this bitch think she’s the shiit. everythings about her. everythings because of her.
your so full of yourself STFU & just chill.
blue
to be continued.
positive
just received an email back from Lucy , she still remembers me. Thank God. Going for an interview next week. Time to set my schedule & start planning this mother fucker. *opps ;D
Goal of the day.
Hi Lucy , How are you ? I’m not sure if you remember me or not , but I had came to speak to you in September or October about attending AAU & studying Graphic Design. I am still interested in attending the school , i just haven’t had the money to pay for the application fee , but im working on that. I was wondering if you had time for me to come there & speak to you about...
blunt
i am my only motivation.
